Communications consultant Carissa Reyes*, 27, who has been in an LDR for one and a half years, suggests that rather than viewing the distance as an inhibitor in the relationship, view it as a chance for personal growth. She says, “being apart is difficult, but I’ve also come to appreciate the space that it gives me to become my own person. Exploring the world without him makes me feel like a more confident woman, and that I have more to give in our relationship.”
In his book, Long Distance Relationship: the Complete Guide, Dr. Guldner explains that there are two types of loneliness: emotional loneliness, which “occurs whenever we feel an answered need for intimacy, and social loneliness, which is a yearning for casual relationships with others.” While it is a given that LDR couples experience the first, they unfortunately fall victim to the second because of their self-enforced isolation. Take charge os your social life and get involved. Dr. Guldner writes, “Minimizing the amount of social isolation will lessen (but not eliminate) your feelings of emotional loneliness.” In other words, celebrate your independence.
*Names have been modified upon request.